I recently purchased Danielle Bernstein’s autobiography, This is Not a Fashion Story: Taking Chances, Breaking Rules, and Being a Boss in the Big City. Her book plunges into the scenes of her life leading up to this moment: the good, the blood, the bad, the sweat, the ugly, the tears.
Danielle brazenly digs her toes in a literary real estate residing somewhere between Candace Bushnell’s Sex and the City, Steven Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, and Rachel Hollis’ Girl, Wash Your Face.
Noting on the themes of dating, entrepreneurship, and developing the best relationship with yourself, this cohesive book truly has it all for young women attacking any big city they take on—New York or otherwise.
With bona fide excitement, I await my Amazon prime package landing happily on my doorstep so that I can join in on the young and daring female revolution. But, because my eager desire to connect to this storyline is practically begging for some sort of action, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to put fingers to keys for the love of research.
Although I have followed Danielle for a few months and have certainly gotten up to date on her high-end fashion line, WeWoreWhat, and stylistic capabilities, I have a long way to go before I can consider her a paragon. Hence, I did a quick review of various Google resources on what the style icon had to offer. Despite reading a wide array of insightful articles intricately dissecting each and every component of our heroine, a simple quote from Danielle herself nags me even as my two AM reality attempts to fade into a dream.
Google has this fancy new feature in which a celebrity, influencer, or someone else with a voice to be reckoned with is able to answer quick questions on video. While swiping through a few of Danielle's requests, I stumbled upon the question: “Which 3 of your habits most contribute to your success?”
The acclaimed part-CEO part-influencer answered with a simple list: fearless networking, hustling, and consistency.
Perhaps these are three basic steps toward success that any knowledgeable adult could dictate, but their frankness is exactly why they stick. We live in a world saturated with dense information that is not always applicable to the general public. Successful individuals, all experts in their siloed niches, deliver an abundance of detail-oriented guides on the daily. Want to know how to optimize your content for Amazon? You got it. Want to know how to study for the NCLEX Nursing exam? Coming right up.
But can someone answer for us millennials, “How to make it, how to grow into yourself in the city, and how to discover your passion?” I guarantee that if you throw that overwhelmingly broad query in the search engine, two results will follow. An alarmingly optimistic response of “be you!” is option number one, while an articulated guide regarding how to pay rent in some jargony language is your other option.
Although both of these perfectly feasible pieces of content undeniably have their time and place, they don’t seem to offer what Danielle Bernstein’s simple, honest, and suitable-for-anyone response does.
Danielle recommends hustling, by no surprise, as she practically serves as the poster child for the millennial side-hustle trend. Today, it almost feels as though you are falling behind if you are just a full-time college student (which, by the way, is a large load to carry in of itself). Students today feel pressured to start their own form of a creative outlet or spend their night hours grinding away at that off-campus internship, all while obtaining some sort of income to pay for their weekend ubers.
Of course, every industry is different, and every student has different needs, but I can’t say I don’t agree with this hustle mentality—pressured or not.
Biting off more than you can chew, academically, physically, emotionally—whatever, certainly has its consequences if done inappropriately. However, we are taking advice from a woman who holds a spot in Forbes 30 Under 30.
I am, first and foremost, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a student. But, I am also a hopeful writer, an aspiring story of professional success, a dreamer. Therefore, I will take those extra hours out of my day to prepare myself for my future, ONLY because it is the future I am sketching. Erasing bits, adjusting the lines, and shading in from there, sure, but the pencil will forever remain in my hand.
So, yes, I sometimes bite off a bit more than I can chew. But who says I can’t have a big appetite?
Our protagonist also suggests consistency as a necessary wheel on the train to success. As college students, I find consistency as one of the things our demographic struggles with the most. The era defined by a global pandemic in which we are currently experiencing is surely inconsistent. But, this too shall pass, so I’m not wasting any more time or characters on how that’s changed our life; it’s just part of who we are now.
I’m talking about “normal” life, or at least what I hope shall soon return. In college, we are trained to live for the impulse, the enthralling all-nighters, the random invitations, the exhausted walks to class, and the new people we meet on the daily. And I genuinely do believe our collegiate series deserves the episodes; whether all of these experiences are hallmark events or nights in the gutter, they contribute to our growth.
In an era overflowing with bright lights, big cities, and bigger parties, consistency is often misconceived as a boring routine.
Amidst all of the impulsivity must be self-awareness. Self-awareness is birthed by consistency, which then promotes growth. If your decisions made at a university, or at least in the ages between teenage and adulthood, lack any sort of pattern, any trace of your personality, how can you really say you know who you are?
This consistency I preach can come in any form, in any volume. Consistency to you might mean staying in touch with friends and family that remind you of your roots so that when you stem out into a new world, you don’t lose contact with the ground. Consistency may be getting in that daily movement and prioritizing fueling your body properly, as wellness provides you with a sense of inner peace. Consistency may come to fruition by writing for your blog at least twice a month, adding to your business portfolio after each valuable experience, updating your LinkedIn with fresh connections, and keeping your passions alive by chasing that initial one AM desire to create something great.
Consistency, when done right, repels boredom in everyday life and attracts a connection to who you want to be.
Finally, Danielle’s tip regarding fearless networking is what inspires me the most.
As a self-proclaimed extrovert with a blurred line of introverted insecurities, fearless networking is something I was sure would hold me back in my future climbing of the business ladder. I am afraid to speak in front of classmates on the first day, introduce myself to professors without a little sweat on the palms, and even give a mere wave to someone new at a bar. Although I eventually come out of my shell and serve as a natural leader, the shift only tends to take place when I reach that level of comfort.
I can network, but only when it doesn’t require fearlessness. And at that point, is it even networking, or just conversing with an acquaintance?
At this point in my *very* young career, my main goal is to grow my confidence that I know I have inside; I challenge you to do the same. As we grow up, more and more absolutely wonderful people will be introduced into our lives. Some will provide us with business collaborations, some will provide us with creative opportunities, some will provide us with friendship, others raw love. How will you know which of these connections, if any, are feasible if you are too afraid to shake someone’s hand?
And although Danielle’s insight specifically relates to networking, we can all understand fearlessness extends far beyond the horizon of connections.
Fear is the universal killer. And I say that as a fact.
No matter what your passion is, what road you’ve traveled to earn your past accomplishments, and face your past failures, I can say with certainty you’ve let fear get in your way.
Being fearless is not synonymous with being outgoing, although I do believe people often carry that misconception. The most fearless people can be those with the keenest eye, the sharpest ears, or the loudest voices. Fearlessness has less to do with our surroundings, and more to do with our internal obstacles.
Because if you can jump those hurdles, the ones in your mind, body, spirit, and perhaps most notably, your heart, then you’ll easily be able to run the brick-and-mortar race of life hurdle-free.
So, to Danielle Bernstein, thank you for inspiring me with what you potentially consider elementary steps toward success. By keeping up with my writing on this all-unimportant platform, I get the privilege to hustle, stay consistent, and most importantly, live fearlessly of what others may be thinking.
I can’t wait to read your book. I can only imagine the number of blog posts that could originate from your 27 years of insights.
to living fearlessly,
caroline hughes
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